Ahhh! how many of ya’ll clicked on this blog post super fast? Don’t be ashamed and say, “ME GIRL ME!!!!” Let me tell you I completely understand that feeling! I am going to give you a few thoughts about this topic because I have been through this before, and totally remember that feeling. Also, let me tell you that this long distance thing does NOT work for everyone, it might work for some, but not everyone in the world. Alright, sit back, relax, get a drink or a snack, and read till the end of this blog maybe you will see if long distance is for you…..or not. Also, there will be some tips for you guys in this situation so keep on reading!!!
A few years ago I met this boy called (lets call him DA) lol! I mean heck I think he could care less if he comes and reads my blog. Actually, it is all good cause he is so far away and he does not understand English, but wait does google translate count? lol! Anyways, I met him when I was 8 years old so basically it was like a childhood crush, which is exactly how that started, but when we thought it would had a happy ending it really did not. This is because we were far about 4,286 km to be exact…I was living in Chicago, IL (USA) and him Periera, Colombia. See the difference? lol!
The story is that we both grew up totally living in two separate worlds, environments, languages, traditions, and the list goes on. We never saw each other for almost I think it was about 14 years or 15 years max! A little bit about my background though so ya’ll won’t get lost: My dad is from Colombia so basically he grew up with (DA’s) family and my family is LITERALLY neighbors with DA’s family lol! So close that as soon as you walk out of my house in Colombia you will see his house…(awkward) lol!
Alright getting back to my story, as the years passed by I would always ask for him when I would talk to my grandma. We were the best of buddies when I went to Colombia to visit my family when I was little, but as the years passed by I think my grandma sorta knew I kinda liked him which she avoided the question. This is because I think my grandma knew that he would break my heart, and she thought the long distance was not for me.
So anyways, the years passed by, we both grew up, and then dad decided to travel to Colombia after so many years. We never went because traveling to Colombia is freaking expensive! By the time we went the prices were still sky high but my little sister needed to meet the other side of the family which is why we traveled. I remember the first day I saw him and it totally felt that I just saw him the day before. It felt as the years never passed by because we took off from where we left off..(Does it make sense?)
As far as I remember, my parents, sister, and I stayed there for 3 weeks because of my fathers job that did not let him stay longer. After the 3 weeks, things happened between this guy and I and well my lord did we like each other like ya’ll have no idea. There was just one problem…He was going to have a child. No, he was not with the girl (that girl is freaking crazy I swear that’s another blog for later), but the case is that I knew and I was like “meh” we could “wing” it.
If he ends up reading this (I am sorry dude but you know I speak nothing but the truth), and well yeah long story short he ended up breaking my heart. This was because I mean he took the side of his “ex” which is now his “all” or that is what she thinks lol! Other reasons will be left unknown, but one of the biggest reasons was because man oh man did he love to assume things about me without even asking me! Which that is exactly what hurt me the most.
I remember one time that I left to my mothers country Guatemala, we weren’t together anymore at the time, and he sent me the most unbelievable email. I will quote what he said but not the whole email, and YES I still remember it by heart cause I know I treated the living life outta him. He said,
“Why are you telling everyone that we are getting married when you dam well know that I am stuck with so many responsibilities! You are such a little princess aka daddy’s girl looking for a prince charming and you need to grow up!”
There was more in the email! I was so angry cause honestly when he sent me that I was not even in the USA, I never talked to anyone in my family when I got back to Chicago, and I was at my mom’s country for 3 months without a freaking decent internet access! So since that day I had prepaid internet in Guatemala, (yeah prepaid trust me I was dying and my fingers flew on the keyboard writing back to this immature soul at that time) I took my time treating him left to right. When I treat someone I make sure that person would prefer dying then hearing me so yeah. ^_^
Years passed by, about 3 years to be exact and I went back to Colombia determined to get back at him in front of his face lol! Our communication was horrible when “we were dating” because it was all by email, skyping whenever he had time or internet, or he would call me every two weeks. We never had a face to face talk besides that last time I was over there, but if there was one thing I knew was that I liked him. I ended up hating him after that horrible email, but that didn’t last when I saw him again.
So like I was saying, I saw him again and well I felt like a little girl seeing him, but I still had a conversation with him…via facebook while I was a house away from him. This guy is not the type where you talk face to face with him because he has a “kid”. Before I forget, shout-out to all those men out there who despite that they have a child they don’t get back with the ex just because of the kid! Yeah, cause he did that exactly smh! However, in the facebook message he LITERALLY said,
“I will never get married with anyone unless it is with you.”
Uhhh…..What? Yeah, I was more confused then sitting in my anatomy class hearing the teacher speak. First, he used to talk all this smack and now he was saying that? Oh, I know why though! You see, my cousin has a friend that I “dated” to see DA’s reaction while I was over there, and yeah that was his reaction lol! Marrying me. However, that was not in my plans and they are not anymore. So right now we are just good friends, I don’t talk to him, but his sister freaking loves me and I love her! That is the only communication I have with his family.
What is my main point here in long distance? Well, it did not have a happy ending because I mean it was not meant for me. I am not about to deal with so much immature crap and especially someone doubting on the type of girl I am. If that was just one email I do not want to imagine how the rest of my life would be being with him. Don’t get me wrong he is a great guy in his own world, and he is a great dad. It’s just his relationship life where he needs the most desperate help which I truly hope he gets a good lady, and not stay with that crazy ex.
He is the type of guy where he works hard, gets whatever he wants, tries to please his family in every way, very family oriented, a somewhat good singer, and I can’t think of other qualities but if there is one thing I know is that he is a great friend. He knows I will always be here for him with my sarcastic ways because at the end of the day were still “family” cause of the history of our families. Long story short..that is my story not so good but it is what it is.
TIPS FOR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS!
If there is one thing that I am thankful for in regards to having a chance with this experience is that I can be able to give advice to many others planning in having a long distance relationship. So here they go:
- Communication is KEY! Keep communicating constantly because the more communication both of you have the better chances both of you will mature more.
- Get to know each other! be his/her best friend and always be there for the person.
- NEVER DOUBT! Try to trust on the significant other no matter how far they are because that is the only way trust can be built.
- Have an issue? Don’t talk it out via email because as you can see it will get worse. WAIT till you guys talk on the phone to solve the problem.
- ASK QUESTIONS! Keep asking questions every single day because you need to know what they are thinking to not mess anything up.
- KNOW THEIR CIRCLE! Know the friends they hang out with and be sure to have a “skype party” so you won’t feel awkward when meeting them face to face.
- Get to know their FAMILY! Talk to them by phone and ask them how their day is doing it is that simple.
- Skype them as much as you can! Not everything is by email, messenger, instagram, or whatever type of social media you guys are using. Make sure you get to see him/her on video chat.
- Always set a time! In my case we were in 2 different time zones so that was another issue. Make sure you guys set a time for yourselves only with no interruptions.
- Pray for one another and have God as the center of your relationship because the Lord will make you both stronger during those times.
- Last but not least, LOVE THE PROCESS! The more you do this the more in love you will fall for him/her, and the more you will be able to count the days till both of you see each other again.
That is exactly what I learned from having this experience, and when I think of the things we should had done I am like “DANG! We would have had 7 years together!!”. However, that was not the case but hey all of you are lucky by having me go through with that to tell you the tips lol! I truly, from the bottom of my heart, wish him nothing but the best. For all of you out there trying to have a long distance relationship GOOD LUCK! and always try to impress that significant other one way or another. Keep the love alive ya’ll!!! If any of you found this helpful I am happy it did!! Send me a message if you guys have any questions because I would be happy to answer them all! Make sure you follow my blog, subscribe to my two channels on YouTube, and share this post with anyone who needs to read this! Love ya’ll, God bless, and peace out!